God in the city?

God seems like a forest to me, and religion seems like cities.

God is a great big wilderness spinning in space, and in places here and there settlements scar His face, and they have turned Him into real estate and put Him up for sale.

It's funny... the times I'm surest that God is speaking to me about anything, it is through trees or rivers or dogs. Sometimes I resolve to hear God speak to me through the bricks and the pavement and the steel and glass... But those speak to me only about people.

It seems like a creation has a lot to say about it's creator. Regardless of which creation we're talking about.

I have got to get out of the city. Maybe on saturday the girls and I will take a long drive and catch some peace and quiet. I'd like to check out the monastery up north. Maybe one day I can get a sitter and take a little retreat.

no

Probably my favorite part of "The Matrix" is just after Neo comes back to life. The agents start shooting at him, and he just holds out his hand and says, "no."

As though this whole fiasco was just about setting boundaries.

I have to watch the matrix every once in a while, and halloween night is as good a time as any. I like it because it sparks my imagination and appeals to my subversive tendencies. It's like the bible says "faith comes by hearing" (it's in there somewhere). Does faith only come by hearing a preacher read out of the bible? Or does faith also come by hearing the inspired creativity of secular artists?

I like to imagine that the flawed nature of this world can be somehow battled, and that I could be a significant part of it. Maybe everyone does. A movie like the matrix instills a degree of faith and determination in me. Not because it's true, but because it strikes me as a metaphor for something that seems to be true. The best thing about it is that Neo is not different from you or I. He's even quite ordinary, and at times, he gets the shit beat out of him. That's the beauty of it really. Neo is you, and Neo is me. Neo is the difference between Mr. Anderson and Mr. Anderson Self Realized.

I'd like to take some time to intellectualize this, but i have said "no" to intellectualization this week. So.... tonight I feel encouraged by this movie and I'll just enjoy that little emotion for the time being. I think that in the future when I have more time, I'd like to say a little more about "no" as I think it's quite revolutionary. If that doesn't make sense to you, I'd encourage you to spend some time contemplating the subject. It may just change your life ;)

I'm just kidding of course. It changed MY life. I can't speak for you.

repentance

I have been spending too much time in my head, and not enough time in my heart. I will spend the week attempting to rectify the situation.

limbo

This morning I went to hang out with the unitarians. There was a cute boy there, but my social meanderings didn't bring me across his path. It's just as well. I do so hate disappointment.....

The unitarians were celebrating All Saints Day by remembering and sharing stories about loved ones who have passed on, people who have had a significant influence in their lives. It was lovely, really. I've been in quite a few churches who spend the sunday closest to halloween discussing how evil the holiday is, and as far as I can see, this serves no purpose.

But why shouldn't we spend time remembering and honoring the people who made our lives better? What better time than on All Saints day? And why leave this out of the community experience?

The sharing that I witnessed today seemed to draw the humans in that fellowship closer. During coffee time afterward, I heard comments like "I had no idea that...." and "I can relate to....." as people learned things about each other that were big parts of what made them tick. I thought that was very cool.

Right now I feel like I'm stuck in between. On the one hand I have good friends in a church community that I like, but more and more lately I feel like I don't fit in there, or like I have to keep certain thoughts secret. The pluralist atmosphere of the unitarian church is attractive to me because the understanding there is that it's okay for me to not know, or to have different ideas. But I find aspects of the services tedious and at some point in my life I would like to find some sort of peer group. Supposedly that's a healthy thing. I don't know.

So I guess I'm stuck in between, which is little more than a reflection of my spiritual state. I guess it's fitting. Today I crave something, and I'm not sure what it is. I'm not sure if what I think it is, is just a symptom of something else. That's as specific as I can be because I don't really know right now what's going on my brain.