spontaneous day off

I feel a little guilty for having such an awesome workout on a day when I went home from work sick. What can I say? A soft couch and a cup of tea have healing powers that tylenol will never harness.

I can see that my main obstacle in training for parkour is going to be working around all the kids who wanna be able to do what I do. It's very cute, but also carries some responsibility and also inconvenience. I don't want kids to get hurt because they don't understand the limits of their bodies, but let's face it, every kid knows that jumping is just too much damn fun. And once they've caught on, where will I train then? My current favorite training spot was crawling with kids after only a few minutes of working out. I'm glad they're interested in getting a little outdoor activity in their lives. I hope I can inspire them to develop more than just a passing interest. Kids in my neighborhood are overwhelmingly fat. Too much KD, not enough actual food.

By the time I got home my legs felt weak. In the last couple days I've learned a couple things, and I've started doing my rolls on the grass. They're coming along nicely. I'm very pleased. Tomorrow night is gymnastics night, when my friend the gymnastics coach lets me in after closing, and we do whatever we want for two hours. Last time she taught me a front flip, gave me some rolling tips, and helped me figure out some weird wall spinny thing I keep seeing in videos. It's much harder than it looks. Tomorrow I guess I'll keep working on all of the above, and hope to see some progress.

All that is to say (for those of you who have no interest in my training regimen or obscure european sports) that it feels really good to set achievable goals, and then go about achieving them. I am realizing that I am capable of doing the things that I set my mind to learning, as long as I am willing to do the work. And I am learning that my problem was never that I was too lazy to do the work, but that I lacked motivation. There wasn't anything I wanted badly enough to do over and over and over until I got it right, and then some more until I could do it without even thinking. I'm learning about the connection between real limitations and mental limitations, how one affects the other, how some limitations never existed in the first place.

I always thought that wisdom and understanding were matters of mind and spirit, but I'm seeing a whole new realm of learning that can only be found with a balance of all three, body, soul and spirit. It is very motivating. And it is having a positive effect on my diet. Lately I choose spinach or strawberries, instead of beer and pizza. Not because it's better for me, but because I would really rather have spinach or strawberries. I like the way I feel when I eat them.

But I also still like chocolate.

On friday I was hanging out with the geek squad, getting ready for some D&D, when one of the guys had a diabetic spazz. I guess they call it insulin shock?? He was low in blood sugar. He began to thrash his head and writhe on the couch, constantly trying to pull it together but clearly unable. One of the other guys tried to get his blood tester out and figure out how to use it, but he just couldn't communicate. Every once in a while he would throw me a look, with a big grin on his face. I knew that he was embarrassed, that he was trying to make light of things, but there was something wild and out of control in those eyes. I felt both concern and fear, but I smiled at him, like I wasn't worried, while jeff threatened to carry the guy to the car and drive him to the hospital.

Finally he managed to get it out that he had a chocolate bar in his jacket, and when jeff got it unwrapped, he reached for it like a drowning man for a buoy, and wolfed it down like a starving dog. Within one minute he was sitting up and talking to us like nothing had happened.

That was a strange experience for me. The first of it's kind, actually. It affected me in a way I haven't quite figured out yet. I'm very thankful for my health. I certainly don't deserve it.

Well, I've got a few more things to do before bed, so I better get on that. Nighty-night, kids.

parents

wow, it's sunday already, again!!

Last sunday was good. I really enjoyed the service at the unitarian church. I learned about the legend behind the easter bunny, and the phoenix, and we did a meditative exercise and then had potluck, which is of course a fantastic opportunity to conversationalize with new people. The woman who did the presentation is mennonite, and has family from my hometown, so we were able to discuss the complications of being..... well..... us, in a mennonite family. It seems like every woman in that church has read "Complicated Kindness" by Miriam Toews. That book is about my hometown, so they know a little of where I'm coming from.

So, my parents are in town, and so far so good. Last night we ate tacos and I got them hooked on Joan of Arcadia. I think it's close enough to their own concept of God to crack them open, and then just different enough to maybe broaden their view a little. Sure, the Rob Bell book was too much, but this I think will be juuuuuuust right.

I'm doing them a favor..... really.

I've been reading "How to Meditate" by Lawrence LeShan. I like it's logical and straightforward approach, instead of that touchy feely mystical language that you'd expect in such a book. It describes a number of different ways to meditate, outlines the benefits, pitfalls and difficulties in each, and does it by drawing examples from all the different schools of meditation, everything from christianity to zen. Though he hasn't mentioned the ninjas yet.

So, I've been really trying to consistently make time each day for some meditation. After my Buffy-athon, that is, two full months of watching nothing but Buffy every evening, I decided against watching TV this week, and it's been nice. I got reading done, and exercise. Anyways, with the weather getting nice, who has time for tv? Nevertheless, I was sad to see Buffy end. I watched season 7 twice simply because I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Last night, while me and my mom made dinner, I let my stepdad watch my Ani Difranco concert DVD. After a while he asks me "Is she a feminist?" in that tone that makes it clear that feminists are a very small group of alien subspecies who can be identified by their uncompromising song lyrics, amongst other things. Sometimes I forget how limited their experience is. I mean, these days, who isn't a feminist? Mostly just fundamentalist christians and rednecks..... or maybe muslims. I don't mention to him that she's also bisexual.

Today I'll meet them at church and then we'll go to the spa in the afternoon. My stepdad actually requested to revisit the restaurant that he grudgingly allowed us to eat at the last time we went to the spa: Nit's Thai. "That weird chinese food" He's come a long way. Maybe one day they'll learn how to use chopsticks.

Well, I can dream, can't I?