Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I think that the universal need that humans have to worship something bigger than themselves points to the actual existence of that very thing. Our need for God is evidence of the existence of God. In the same way, my need for a God that cares is itself evidence that God does indeed care.
Now. I understand that the terms "God" and "Care" are incredibly subjective, and more and more I'm learning the difficulty of communicating with words that hardly hold meaning anymore. I understand about looking into myself, but I very strongly believe that while God may be inside me, around me, above and below me, He is also bigger and separate at the same time that He is unified..... He, She, It, whatever......
Let's face it. Everyone comes up with an explanation that makes sense to them, something that describes their experience of God. My experience of God is that sometimes it seems like He doesn't care, but sometimes it seems like He does, and whether it seems He does or doesn't is extremely circumstantial, which merely points to the subjective, finite, and unreliable nature of my "attempt" at understanding.
What this all boils down to is this....... while I will naturally (unavoidably) continue to expand my understanding of God, I have to have an experiential relationship with.... It. Otherwise, I will always be living someone else's relationship, and that will always bring me full circle to a place of confusion and uncertainty.
All that is to say, I really have no idea what I'm talking about or whether I'm communicating sufficiently. But I'm not upset, and I'm trying to learn, and relax, and allow God to reveal Himself in His own way and His own time.