Friday, July 14, 2006

ohm

Meditation is a new thing for me. I've been trying to make a discipline of it, which is not easy for me. I'm mostly disciplined at the things I HAVE to do, and everything else is sort of touch and go. I'm great at getting to work and feeding the dog.... less great at cooking dinner and emptying the dehumidifier. And while I can usually find some time in the evening to meditate, I think that an ideal time would be in the morning, but lets face it, mornings are my nemesis. Even when I do find time in the morning, it's almost impossible not to fall asleep where I sit.

One night when I was having trouble falling asleep, I started meditating as I lay in bed, thinking it would be an excellent way to doze off. As I did, I jolted awake to the sound of a woman's sob. It was as though there was someone in the room. I told myself that it was a dream, but it was still unsettling. I haven't done it again. I'll fall asleep the old fashioned way.

As for my evening forays, I've found that it's getting easier for me to calm my brain down, and it takes less time to get clear. It's been a pleasant exercise overall, and usually I use it to move into a little bit of prayer.

My experience with prayer over the course of my life has been very frustrating, mainly because of my inability to focus on any one thing for more than 5 seconds, so this new experience of praying out of a state of mental clarity is a refreshing and pleasing sensation.

My prayer is simple these days. "Reveal Yourself"

3 Comments:

Blogger BrokenRenewal <> said...

U.S.~
Thanks for your comment and I do think that what you said is true. Sometimes the best thing to do is to be supportive and offer a quiet hand in the right direction. However, in my own personal opinion I believe that talking to her about it and telling her that what we both did was wrong. Yes it was experimentation, but it was a bad decision. Maybe choosing these outcomes will benefit her in the future, but it will more likely end in something she's not too proud of, as she told me today. So after much prayer and consideration, I decided to talk to her. I know that she values my opinion, and I know that she values God's opinion, but I know that she's slipping away from her morals, morals that she's had her whole life. Now, I'm not trying to force my views on her, but as her best friend, I need to remind her of not only God, but what this will do to benefit or hurt her in the future. I told her that I cannot keep her from experimenting, nor would I want to, for I agree that through experimentation comes a greater understanding of the world. BUT, when experimentation takes root in person, perhaps its not the best path for a young adult such as her to take.

I know that you and I differ a smidge on our opinions of God, and who he is, what he is etc. but I just hope that your childhood experiences don't affect your current religious views. It sounds like you came from a very strong conservative church with a very pressuring mindset, but I hope it wouldn't be too bold to remind you that not all christians and churches are so forceful in their doctrines. As a fellow "bigger meaning to life" craver, I'll let you know that I've had my ups and downs in religion as well. There have been times where it drove me crazy that the strictness and rules of the church seemed to be everywhere. But then there are days where it all makes sense and it seems the rules where there for a reason- to protect as you said.
Lol I apologize for the huge length of this post.
In Christ~
Brokenrenewal

July 16, 2006 1:36 AM  
Blogger BrokenRenewal <> said...

Sorry I'm commenting againl but another thing came to mind....I liked what you said about how moral codes were meant to protect, and if experimentation leads to no harm, then no code is broken kinda thing. But I wanted to ask you, what about someone such as my friend, who takes a moral code manmade or otherwise which she once followed and throws it out the window PURELY for the sake of being cool and saying that she did? How could this benefit her other than to feel bad for it sooner or later?
Thanks for the input. Loved reading your comments today.
~Brokenrenewal

July 16, 2006 1:48 AM  
Anonymous I Gallop On said...

Hi Ursa,

Some nice gentle yoga before bed helps me sleep. It's relaxing to concentrate on the stretch or the nice warming up feeling of your muscles. I find this a really nice way to stop the old brain from rushing off in all kinds of directions. Nice way to focus and clear your mind.

Kimberly

July 17, 2006 8:06 AM  

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