Wednesday, October 18, 2006
After all, if it doesn't somehow alter or improve my experience, it's only information.
One thing that I don't want to do is be angry or bitter towards the well intentioned perpetrators of my indoctrination. I think that would be counterproductive to what I'm doing here. And I think that if any idea led me towards divisiveness it could not be true. I think that Truth ought to unite people and transcend boundaries, and the inner result should be joy and peace.
The other thing is that I don't need to advertise my disagreements with people, because they simply don't matter (the disagreements, that is). Why should I feel the need to inform people that I no longer believe as they do, unless that devious intention to win them to my side has reared his insolent head. I think that deep down we all want people to agree with the way we see the world, but the fact of the matter is that our efforts in that regard seem to create more harm than good.
The last day or two have been markedly dismal.... to say it plainly, I'm just in a shitty mood. No biggie, but I sense something underneath it.... it's as though I've begun a good book and can't find the time to finish it. Or like everytime I try to get back into it, someone interrupts me, and so I've been stuck on the same paragraph for.... like..... ten minutes. That's analogy-time.... the translation could be days or weeks.... I don't know. What I mean to say is there are unfinished thoughts.... and I wish the week would end quicker so I could devote myself to contemplation.
So, I will be grouchy until friday afternoon. Except for lunchtime tomorrow.... it's chicken finger day. And friday is chips and pepsi day. Funny, if I can only make it through wednesday, the rest of the week seems so manageable.
Throw me some thoughts about reincarnation. Someone brought it up the other night and some interesting ideas popped up.